💐 This post is especially close to my heart. I wrote it last May, just days after Mother’s Day, when my mom suddenly passed away. She was the strongest woman I knew, and her story is part of mine. Today, I’m sharing what I wrote then, as both a tribute and a piece of the journey that shaped me. I had not thought about that time in our lives when she packed us up and drove with us 4 kids all by herself. It must have been somewhere in the back of my thoughts when I wrote this tribute to her days after her death:
It is with a heavy heart that I bid farewell to my mother, the epitome of a matriarch. Fierce, strong, never wavering in her protection for her children.
Born and raised in the Bronx, where her heart and soul never left, she raised us 4 ragtag kids on the block right around the corner from where she lived with my grandmother, grandfather her 2 sisters and their brother Tom.
She battled and busted her way thru our childhood all the while sacrificing herself. She protected us, she held us together, she supported us and she dragged all 4 of us on her back over the finish line. She would do anything for us and was always their when we needed her. Never a question, never a hesitation, she was there when we needed her.
Most of our early days she fought to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. She worked 2 jobs, waitressing & bookkeeping. When they could not afford the school I was attending she drove the bus so I could go there. She coached, she never missed my brother's baseball or basketball games, she was always there even if it was after a night working at Federico's til 2 in the morning.
She insisted the boys went to college and she steered them right into the front gates of Mt St Vincent. When she thought they should be civil servants for a better life with security they took the test, they joined the NYC Police dept. The boys moved on and my brother Michael become a deputy commissioner for the DOI & brother Bill, well he took the prize of favorite after becoming an FDNY battalion chief.
She wore her children's accomplishment quite literally on her back. My company clothing, police badges around her neck, and NYFD jackets. She put us before herself and in these last years seemed to be so happy just being our mother.
I was her thorn, I was the one who gave her the most anx, but later in life when the need for fierceness and protective barriers came down we became the closest of buddies. She helped everyday in my Cafe in Pearl River. She showed up (always pointing out all the things I should be doing!), but she was there, everyday. We spent a good part of 10 years everyday working in the Café and nights at the restaurants in town where we had lots of laughs and really got to know each other.
I can go on and on but I am still comprehending what happened yesterday. I will miss her terribly, I will always honor her and I will never forget what is most important in life, Love. The love of a mother, brother, friend or partner. Love is really all it comes down to and making a positive difference in someone life.
How lucky I am to have had someone that makes saying goodbye so hard. Bye Mom, I hope you always knew how loved you were. ❤️